About a month ago, I had the privilege and honour of being selected to participate in a panel discussion in my organization geared for leaders. This panel discussion is a monthly event that rotates throughout different divisions of my organization focused on different leadership topics. When I was informed I was selected, I was thrilled at the opportunity to not only share my journey but also to represent diversity. However, my nerves did set in at the realization I was sitting with a president, vice president, a director and that this panel discussion was not only for the attendees in the room but also being broadcasted live, recorded, and uploaded to our intranet site as a leadership toolset. Being camera-ready, thoughtful with my answers, and articulate had me rattled!
The topic for the panel was on actionable feedback. The timing was perfect since we were going through performance evaluations and goal setting. I fielded questions on how an organization can create a culture of actionable feedback. I believe as leaders, creating an environment that promotes psychological safety where our behaviours embody our values and creating a culture where feedback is a two-way conversation and not solely top-down. This lends to an organization where sound decision-making and innovation can take place organically and actually thrive. I articulated the nature of goals being able to achieve big audacious business strategies geared toward making our employees stretch thus putting them outside their comfort zones. In order to ensure their performance is in alignment with the goals, actionable feedback structured on the SBI model is imperative. I spoke clearly and articulated my answers with honesty and transparency in the hopes the audience would be able to try and or implement my insights to become better leaders. Whenever I am asked to participate in a panel discussion, I try to be authentic as attendees are taking time out of their day to listen to what I have to say – a responsibility I never take lightly. I also always strive to be a little controversial in order to give a different perspective or simply to connect.
I also decided to take this opportunity to have my mic drop moment. Yep, you heard me, I was Beyoncé and this was about to become my Superbowl halftime show. One of the questions that I was absolutely excited to answer was, “have I received feedback and what actions did I take.” This was the last question of the panel and I knew this was my moment to articulate the gender divide in leadership without actually pointing it out. This was my moment to make it clear, I don’t need to apologize for giving direction however I do have a responsibility to practice self-awareness. Ladies, I went there and I answered, I received feedback that, I have a tone. A man gives direction and a woman has a tone. I described the culture of my organization as being hard on issues and soft on people, and even though I was hard on the issue, my tone was received as being disrespectful and belittling. This was never my intent, but as leaders, we have to be mindful of our body language and how we are showing up because it’s what we are not saying that has the greatest impact. I set the record straight that I will have a tone going forward because as a leader I have the responsibility make those tough decisions but the key takeaway for me from that feedback was to circle back with the person(s) and or team that was exposed to my tone. It’s important they understand the intent of my communication rather than taking it as a personal attack. I showed tremendous vulnerability on that stage, courage I didn’t know I had, revealing my shortcomings as a means of connecting and inspiring. Afterward, the outpouring of congratulations and accolades was overwhelming; I received wonderful feedback on my performance both from my male and female colleagues. But what was most touching for me and validated my vulnerability was worth it, the number of female leaders who shared with me they too have gotten that very same feedback – they have a tone.
Ladies, stop playing small because you have a tone! This is great feedback for you to re-evaluate and re-adjust your messaging both verbally and non-verbally; strengthen that self-awareness and mindfulness muscles. But the key takeaway I want to leave you with is if you are taking a tone in a respectful way (that is key), make sure you circle back in order to keep your people feeling whole.
Reference Material:
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/work/7-tips-how-give-clear-understandable-instructions-staff.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3520981/
