If you’ve never experienced failure in your life, you have not lived. Failure is a fundamental component of learning; without the experience of gut-wrenching pain and hide your head shame, you will never learn your strength, resourcefulness, and potential. By definition, failure is a lack of success – unable to achieve the goal or desired objective however the knowledge gained from the journey leading through the failure is invaluable and oftentimes life-changing so did you really fail if the gain forces you to grow!?!
Failing forward is fundamental for growth.
Failing forward is a term I often use with my team and in my life. The disappointment I’ve experienced at each failure stirs up feelings of self-doubt, sadness, and dread. Being brave is not a thought that crosses my mind when I am stewing in my shame and rejection of not achieving the goal or experiencing heartbreak however I have learned over the years to put a timeline on how long I stew in my misery – the experience is temporary and will indefinitely pass, I just need to figure out how to get there a little sooner. I get curious about my feelings and try to understand why I am feeling certain emotions. Acknowledging the sadness, anxiety, and rejection is a healthy and honest way of getting ugly with the ‘why’ of my feelings rather than making excuses or minimizing the impact on me. Pretending I was not disappointed when I wasn’t selected for the project or denying my attraction on a first date because there was no mention of a second is simply lying to myself and is the beginning of the “stories” I’ve created to make myself feel less shitty. These stories I have constructed over the years have decorated the beautiful glasshouse I have erected which has kept me isolated from endless possibilities.
Failure helps you to be a better version of yourself.
I am not the best at phoning a friend when I am wallowing but seeking out different perspectives from trusted confidents has helped me to see things more rationally void of emotional turmoil – it helps me sort through the real versus the imaginary. I have gotten better over the years at leaning on my tribe to help me navigate my feelings and reassured me everything will be ok – sometimes just hearing those words can bring undeniable peace of mind and comfort. I encourage my tribe to ask me the hard questions and hold me accountable to my contribution to the failure in order for me to push through and grow. I won’t lie, it does not feel comfortable being brutally honest with myself but it is absolutely necessary if I want to be a better version of myself. In my professional life, I seek out guidance from my mentors as I trust their insights, perspective, and wisdom knowing they only want to help me succeed. I also check in with them to solicit feedback on situations that did not go as planned or how to approach a difficult situation. Being open, receptive and having the willingness to actively listen are important attributes to overcoming failure and setting yourself up to bouncing back. It takes a certain amount of bravery to step into the arena of failure and walk out the victor but trusting that each experience is a lesson to be learned in this school of life, I know there is nothing I can’t overcome. My failures have taught me about self-worth, boundaries, capabilities, potential, purpose, love, humility, and kindness. I would not trade these painful failures for an easy way out because without them, I am could not be the woman I am today.
“Failure Is The Tuition That Pays For Success.”
Reference:
Book Recommendation – Rising Strong By Brene Brown
https://www.verywellmind.com/healthy-ways-to-cope-with-failure-4163968
