Life is not linear; the twists, turns, potholes, and unexpected changes in events can definitely knock you off your footing and send you on a tailspin. The moment you think you can breathe a sigh of relief that life has calmed and the road head is known and certain, that is only short-lived as the universe will add another disruption, not to hinder but to continue your growth. How you bounce back is a measure of your resiliency.
In my life, I pay very close attention to each life event, the people that enter and exit, and the opportunities and disappointments. I’ve learned to recognize what is supposed to help me stretch outside myself and question the lessons I am to learn; getting comfortable with the discomfort because learning does not care when I am good and ready, it has its own timelines and deadlines. My self-awareness like a superpower kicks in and I start deconstructing the situation I have found myself in trying to understand each moving part, face head-on the oppositions I feel within myself that could consist of painful, gut-wrenching agony, shame, sadness, and suckiness. Consulting trusted loved ones for their perspectives and support – this process can be quick or it can take a very long time. The most recent test of my resiliency was when my father suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm. He is alive, healthy, and thriving – thank god but when I recount the journey, being faced with my parent’s mortality was the darkest time in my life thus far. I realized we have many soulmates in this life and they are not only romantic ones. My brother was teammate in this journey as we were not only responsible for staying on top of my father’s health but also taking care of our mother who rightfully so was in no condition to think clearly, to decide rationally nor be good company to anyone. My bestest girlfriends consistently checked in, made me dinner, provided healthy distractions, and loved me so hard it gave me strength to live a life of 6 am hospital visits 7 days a week for several months until my dad returned home. My faith in knowing something is greater than me was cross-examined every night before bed as if dictating my father’s recovery was mandatory, not optional. I didn’t speak much of my feelings during this time as the thought of being vulnerable would collapse the armor that got me through each day. I never allowed myself to see past each day forcing me to live each moment fully; I worked with my life than trying to control it giving me more energy to focus on what had to be done.
Despite the adversity, the blessings that were revealed, I could have never imagined. My father is a changed or I like to say, reprogrammed man (brain damage will do that to a person) – he is such a joy to be around and it has brought my family closer in ways I could have never believed. I speak with them every day on my way home recounting the day’s events to test my father’s short-term memory, we take family vacations together and enjoy weekly dinners. My relationships with my friends have been strengthened by this experience where the lines of friends and family have completely blurred. As for me, I am one strong woman and my strength has deep roots so whatever life and my career wants to throw at me – I am ready!
References:
Book: Option B – by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant
https://ideas.ted.com/8-tips-to-help-you-become-more-resilient/
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience
